Inner work in the outer world: Living with integrity

What does it really mean to do inner work and follow through on what arises? 3Keys Practitioner Jill Morgan shares some poignant insights after completing a 3Keys exercise featured in an earlier blog post, Once Upon a Time.

I am grateful to Lidija for her recent blog Once Upon a Time: Recovering Your Authentic Self and the inner work exercise she shared, “Connecting with the Silenced Child.” Sharing tools for those who want to live from the truest sense of self is important, especially in today’s world, which greatly needs empowered people who are passionately sharing their most authentic attributes.

Even though I am a 3Keys Practitioner and exercises like these are not new to me, I have to admit that most days I am not especially eager to face the wounded child within and the overwhelming painful feelings she experienced, even though I know how much more empowered I feel afterward. Like many of us, I honestly continue to long for a magical approach that will quickly and easily remove all emotional burdens from childhood forever so that I can just live happily ever after.

Alas, no such magic exists. So, whether I like it or not, healing that child and making her my top priority - giving her a voice, and nurturing her from my strong adult self - is a lifelong process, one that becomes a bit easier over time and pays off immeasurably in better physical health and a more realistic, positive outlook on life.

What I always do when I find myself putting off connecting with that child is to remind myself that this is an experiment from which I can potentially learn and grow closer to the truest version of myself. I choose to enter into the process with an open mind and a sense of curiosity about what might emerge, and I pay attention from a “neutral observer” perspective and simply note what happens. After these experiments, I almost always find myself amazed, inspired and strengthened. My experience with Lidija’s “Connecting with the Silenced Child” exercise earlier this month was no exception.

I connected with 8-year-old Jill this time, which is older than the age of the child I usually find when I turn within. She and I haven’t had a conversation in a long time. Below is how she appeared in my imagery, along with the feelings she had and messages she received from others.

Then she wrote me a letter. A LONG letter. She told me about her pain. She told me how much it hurt not to be able to be herself. She told me about how much pretending she had to do just to survive and how bad that felt. She told me how hard she tried to be perfect so that someone would notice her and finally give her the love she craved. That never worked even though she never gave up trying. She told me she was angry and sad because she can imagine how much different life would be today if she had gotten what she needed back then.

Even though I have repeatedly come face-to-face with the feelings of this wounded child over many years of doing my inner healing work, this child still has tears to shed, and I shed them along with her. She cries to release the pain of having had to hold all this in as an 8-year-old, and I cry for her not having been able to be her real self. I was able to sit quietly with her after I read this letter out loud, and we cried together.

After taking a short meditative walk and moving fully back into a strong adult whose job it now is to take care of this child, I wrote her a letter in reply. I told her how sorry I was she had to go through that all on her own, but that I am here now and that my job is to make her needs my #1 priority, all day and every day. I told her she never has to pretend again, and that I see who she really is. With me, she is allowed to be her unique and amazing self, in all her human messiness—no perfection required to get my unconditional love.

Then I reminded her of all the ways I am taking care of her. The most important way is that I recently re-committed to starting every single morning (before I do anything else) by having a conversation with her in my journal so she has a chance to tell me how she’s feeling and what she needs. Most days her needs are simple—lately she’s wanted me to make sure I do some yoga every day—but whatever she tells me she needs, I make sure it gets done. It’s probably no coincidence that since I re-committed to this routine, I am sleeping great, feeling physically healthier, and have an expanded sense of joy along with increased trust in the Universe to co-create with me the life that I want to live.

I wrote about my experience doing this exercise with the hope that it inspires those of you who might want to try it for yourself but have felt too anxious or tentative. I encourage you to look at it as an experiment and see what happens. I’ll bet you’ll find that, like me, you feel amazed and empowered afterward. If you want to talk about the process, or if you need help or support to do it, please reach out to me or Lidija.

Jill Morgan is a certified 3Keys Practitioner, Reiki Master, and certified MBTI® Practitioner located in New England in the United States. She is passionate about working with people who want to know themselves more deeply, and she facilitates personal growth and healing in one-on-one sessions. (Online sessions are available during this time of COVID-19.) Jill believes in the power of the 3Keys Model, affective healing practices, and energy work to promote emotional, physical and spiritual healing, as well as to uncover hidden wisdom and access the true self. You can reach Jill by email at jillmorgan99@gmail.com.